16500/Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon

Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon
Date of Scene:	21 August 2024
Location:	Huntington, Suffolk County
Synopsis:	A good Samaritan comes across a Black Widow
Cast of Characters:	Black Widow (Romanoff), Deadpool

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Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
It was always satisfying when a lead led to something concrete. It didn't happen as often as people thought based on movies and television. There a single call to a tip line led to taking down an entire cartel. In reality? Hundreds of tips might come in and only one of them pan out, leaving 99 times that the agents came up empty handed.

At least today was the one percent. As she held her spot in the rafters of the old warehouse, tucked away hidden in the shadows amongst the dust and cobwebs, there illegal arms dealers below were having an negotiation. Thanks to the architecture of the building, she could hear every word. She had a small camera pin tacked to her shoulder. It was fimling and sending all the information to the response team nearby which would make entry once she had enough data for them.

For now, she just had to wait and be quiet.

Deadpool has posed:
Quiet was a word that Deadpool knew the meaning of. Oh, he could be quiet as a mouse. He was a master of infiltration, sometimes planning things for weeks on end end, coming up with every contingency, scaling up a building, crawling through a sewer, and doing whatever was required. He learned these skills while a part of Canada's Joint Task Force 2, one of the premier special ops teams in the world... and he used those skills to be up there, in the rafters, fully armed, suited up, and with a sky blue Hawaiian shirt, with little coconuts and pineapples on it, a straw hat, and linen shorts.

He moved silently on the catwalk, which was surprisingly flexible. Must have some vibranium soles in his boots, or he was a light touch, but he walked up to the Black Widow, one of the world's deadliest assassin's, held out a drink, and held his gloved hand to his masked lips, indicating quiet. It was a Lava Flow, which consisted if light rum, coconut rum, strawberries, banana, pineapple juice, and coconut cream.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
She wasn't surprised but she was, in a sense. She had caught a hint of something in the air. Perhaps just a change in the wind flow. Maybe a tiny movement out of her peripheral vision. She was above the catwalk he was on, literally in the bare beams that were visible due to the open design of the warehouse. Or maybe it was because anything up here moving around was no bigger than a rat and wasn't wearing a Hawaiian print shirt. Because that stood out. Even over his costume.

She had turned her head to watch him approach. The camera was on her body so it wasn't affected by that change of view. It continued to send the info over to SHIELD.

She growned as he held out the drink and shook her head negatively. THen she mouthed the words, "I"m working." And followed with a quick sign language that essentially meant go away. No, it wasn't official ASL, though she might have if she thought Deadpool knew it. Instead if was a more universal motion of scoot along now.

Deadpool has posed:
Raising his masked head up to gaze upon the Black Widow on the higher rafter, the expression on his mask was blank, as if he was confused, and then with her urging him out of there, he nodded his head in apparent understanding.

He began to walk, at a casual gait towards the end of his catwalk, idly flicking a switch on a Walkman attached to his hip with some kind of transmitter plugged into it.

Over the private SHIELD line, the song Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You would begin to play, as he seemed to be performing a skit from 10 Things I Hate About You, moving as if he were being chased by security, and all in perfect silence. It would have been beautiful, if it weren't so reckless and stupid.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
Having no frame of reference, Natasha had no idea what he was doing. Other than not leaving. And by not leaving, jeopardizing the bust that was about to happen below. Leading to her bring in her fingers to the camera, giving the three letter code required to indicate that the teams should come in.

From the time of the motions, it should be approximately one minute before the teams made entry through each doorway below. Anyone that tried to escape by going upstairs would be in her territory, though most people weren't that stupid. Sadly, while most weren't, inevitably there was at least on that ran upstairs when there was no exit there.

She also triggered three more letters to the camera to have them switch frequencies and thus get that music off the channel. They needed clear audio recordings and this was already potentially an issue.

So while she might be amused by his antics, Natasha actually considered hitting him with a Widow's Bite to get him to stop. Only him falling over would make noise and he wasn't thus far. But if someone caught that movement up above out the corner of their eye, this was over.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool was having the time of his life. As he approached the end of the catwalk, he put on an exaggerated look of concentration, adjusting his imaginary bowtie, and preparing for his grand finale. With each step, he tapped his toes to the rhythm of "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You," even though he knew it was probably driving Natasha insane.

He reached the end, turned on his heel, and executed a flawless, silent dramatic bow, his arms extended in a flourish, before he mimed blowing a kiss to the rafters.

With a flamboyant flourish, he launched into a backflip, his guns drawn and ready, as he sailed through the air. His fall was as graceful as it was unexpected, and he landed right in the middle of the illicit arms dealers, on the central table. Before they could react, his guns were already firing.

"Ladies and gents," he quipped as he landed, "you might want to sit down for this. It's going to be a bumpy ride!"

His shots were precise, aimed at disabling weapons and incapacitating targets. He wove through the crowd with a reckless charm, his movements a chaotic dance of action and humor. Despite the danger, Deadpool couldn't resist the occasional comment.

"Hey, you guys ever think about switching careers? Because I'm thinking this line of work is terrible for maintaining stable relationship!"

The arms dealers scrambled, some of them starting to fight back, but Deadpool's precision and speed left them struggling to keep up. Meanwhile, Natasha could see the whole thing from above, her frustration and amusement no doubt warring as she watched Deadpool's unorthodox, but effective approach to the situation. She really should have shot him with that Widow's Bite, but then again, he'd probably have enjoyed it.

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
There was a frustrated sound heard over the mic to the team followed by Natasha's monotone voice as he took his backflip off the walkway. "Hold the teams. Shots fired. We have...."

She was going to say a complication but that seemed an understatement for what was going on down below now. "We have Deadpool." That should explain it sufficiently for the agents that were responding. The camera was picking up the chaos so that they knew why she was calling them off. While Deadpool did hit what he wanted to hit, the bad guys probably wouldn't as they seemed to be more spray-and-pray in their technique.

Natasha did slip out of the rafters, landing silently on the catwalk recently vacated by the Merc with a Mouth.

"At least he's saving us some work?" she offered as an attempt to look at the bright side here.

Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool grinned beneath his mask as his eyes darted around, taking in the panicked faces of the arms dealers. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite group of poorly dressed criminals. Navy blue, that'so last year," He called out, his voice dripping with mock enthusiasm.

He spun on his heel, aiming his guns with practiced precision. "I hope you all came prepared for a little dance, and by dance, I mean an intense and highly irregular firefight, not what I was doing for a private audience up there."

A dealer took aim at him, but Deadpool was already a step ahead, sidestepping the wild shots. "Whoa there! We're not trying to start a new dance craze, just a standard game of 'don't shoot me, bro!?"

He dodged and rolled, popping up behind a stack of crates. His guns continued to fire, sending incapacitating shots in every direction. "Oh, and don't worry about the mess I'm making! I'm sure there's a cleaning crew in the budget somewhere, just not in your budget."

He spotted one of the dealers trying to make a run for it. "Oh, running away, are we? How rude! I was just about to ask if you had any Grey Poupon. You know, get to know each other a little better!"

As the dealer tripped and fell, Deadpool leaped into the air, spinning around with dramatic flair. "Looks like it's just you, me, and a whole lot of regret! Don't be shy, no, everybody loves a grand finale!?

The chaos was almost too much fun, and Deadpool was reveling in it. He executed a perfect roll, popping up right in front of another bewildered arms dealer. "And here we have our next contestant! Don't worry, the pain is only temporary. And hey, you might even get a participation trophy!"

Through it all, he couldn't help but feel a certain satisfaction. He knew Natasha was watching, and it made him perform even more theatrically. "Come on, sweetheart! Where's the applause for the Merc with a Mouth? Or is the crowd just too stunned by my dazzling performance?"

Black Widow (Romanoff) has posed:
And as the last bad guy fell, that's then the SHIELD agents made ingress through all the doors, immediately moving to take down the bad guys. Only to find they were already down. Thus began the quick triage work instead as they got people in handcuffs while deciding what order they needed to be treated. Only when the scene was secure would they allow the Emergency Medical Services personnel to enter. Though it was more that EMS refused to enter until the scene was secure.

Natasha moved down the steps into the building proper, taking off the bug an handing it over to one of the tech guys before moving to intercept the agents heading toward Deadpool with obvious intent. She held up her hand and motioned them off then looked to the merc. "It was quite the performance. Assistance is appreciated but next time? Let us handle it. We do try to handle things so we can actually win court cases against these people," she added almost as an aside. Then she headed for the door because this was going to be one hell of a debriefing.

"And don't call me sweetheart," was the last words before she exited and emergency medical personnel started to rush in.