16388/Fittings can be such a drag

Fittings can be such a drag
Date of Scene:	24 June 2024
Location:	Charlamaine Courtisan's Costumes
Synopsis:	Nick accompanies Clint on his quest to find a dress. Clint leaves with that, and some new names.
Cast of Characters:	Phantasm (Drago), Hawkeye (Barton)

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Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Be careful of who you trade favors with. You never know where they take you.

However when it comes to the favor Clint owed, Nick and Clint know the destination. And in this case it is Charlamaine Courtisan's Costumes.

Try and say THAT three times fast.

...

Onwards with the story!

From the outside Charlamaine's looks like just any other shop. Brightly colored outfits in the window. An awning to protect people from the rain as they wait for a taxi... just a basic New York shop.

The first sign that it is not typical occurs just as the door is opened. Instead of the usual loud chime or a bell ringing, when the door opens it adds something a bit more.

BONG! 'Hey Girllll...'

Nick pauses at the door, holding it open for his friend while he glances up to the source of the recorded greeting.

"Honey!" A voice chimes up from the back, not recorded this time, "I'll get right too you, DO look around!"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Oh no, Clint is not trying to say Charlamaine Courtisan's Costumes three times. Not even a single time.

With his beanie bean hat well planted on his head and his sunglasses in place - as incognito as possible - Clint Barton follows Nick into the store.

Contrary to what the voice invite them to do, Clint is definitely NOT looking around. Actually, he is reconsidering the whole idea of a deal. Dang it, he's the best when it comes to dig his own grave.

"I'm not yer honey," Clint grumbles and, while nudging Nick ahead of him, "Here's /honey/. I'm just, hrm, not looking around, thank you." Hard to say if the person in the back heard him, since Clint kept his voice rather low.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Clint tries digging his own grave. And as his muttered complaints flutter about the room. The voice in the back responds back, "WHAT?!"

Clint's attempts are super effective.

Nick blinks to the response, looking over to Clint, "She heard that?"

There is a rattle of beads from the back of the store as the owner of the voice steps out in all of hi-her 6'2" of statuesque glory. The heels does add an inch to the height. "Oh honey I've got some super hearing." She replies, giving a look between the two. "Now which one of you has the smart mouth."

Nick glances over to Clint before looking over to the shopkeeper "...Honestly we both do. Would you be...Charlamaine?"

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
For a moment, while studying Charlamaine, the archer ponders if being expelled from the store would count as being impossible for him to find the costume. Hey, if he can't get one, it wouldn't be his fault, right?

Right. No.

"Sorry 'bout that," Clint finally says, hands well anchored into his jeans pockets, giving the impression of a 6-year old caught in the act. "Didn't mean to offend ya," he adds, "It's just, hrm, look, I'm here against my will. Kind of a deal I got."

Trying to make it as short as possible, only then Clint does dare looking around. Oh gawd. Dresses, feathers, masks, so many colours. With a sigh, he adds, "Just pick something, short, purple and black boots size 13. And a full-face mask. Here's my card." And the credit card is handed. Yeah, pick whatever. Then he can hide it somewhere - in the basement - where Skye can't find it.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Charlamaine turns her head to look to Clint eyeing him for a few moments. "You... look familiar." The head tilts down to look to Nick. "You both do..."

Nick gives a small smile, "I was told to let you know that William recommended you to help my friend out with finding something in his budget. As you can probably tell this will be a solitary event for him."

"Mmmm hmm." Charlamaine looks back over to Clint. "...Well vinegar. You may not be so sweet, but I suppose I'll help you if William suggested it." With a clack of the heels upon the floor, Charlamaine sashays across the floor to an aisle. "Purple, black, and short..." A hand lifts, ruby red nail extensions exaggerating the 'come hither' hand motion. "Come this way. We'll find a few pieces for you to try on."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"I'm sure I never met you before," Clint hurriedly states, trying to cut short any attempt at figuring out who he is. It's not like his photograph is in the newspapers on a daily basis. Stark? Sure, but not Barton.

Defeated, the archer follows into the shop as prompted.

At the mention of a solitary event, Clint feels like explaining, "Yeah, one time only. So, if I can rent the thing, that's even better. People can do whatever they want, y'know, to each their own. This is just not mine. Nothing personal."

As he finally dares to look around and at the presented items, another requirement comes to mind. "Oh, and sleeveless if that's possible."

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Well honey and vinegar. If William's suggesting me to you two, you're more likely been in the news at some point. If I realize who, I won't go outing you. That's not me at all. Your secret is safe with me. Stage names and all."

As Charlamaine reaches a rack, she slows down. But as Clint mentions rentals, there is a nod and a turn towards a different rack. "Ah. That type of budget. We'll find something." There's a screech of metal upon rack as each item is slid aside revealing plenty of purplish gowns, of a slightly lesser quality than the first rack they briefly visited. "And how much movement do you say you'll be doing in this outfit?" A rather teeny skirt and halter top is pulled out.

Nick who has followed along opts to remain quiet while the pair converse. Biting his lip as he sees the skirt. But he decides to let the archer off the hook. "...I'm not sure he'll fit comfortably into that."

Charlamaine looks to the skirt and then turns her head to look to Clint's backside. "...Shame. Would have looked good. "

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Might as well be good sport. He might not be fishing in the same pool than Charlamaine, but the archer is well aware of his stunning muscular body. Years of training would give you a great shape. So the half praise is rewarded with a grin.

"I guess I might have to run," the archer finally explains. And this also requires an explanation, "Security detail. Might have to run, y'know. That's why I need boots, not shoes."

Well, running he sure will do, either during or after the event. Running away as soon as the outfit is done with.

Glancing over at Nick - maybe making sure he's not laughing, the archer wonders, "Don't you need an outfit too?" Yeah, share the misery! Although Clint has doubts that this would not be a first for the musician.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
Charlamaine seems mildly disappointed as Clint confirms the need to run. "Very well. More covering in the back, less in front to allow for leg movement. I think I have just the thing."

The store owner moves away from the rack to shift over to a second one nearby, also chock full of various shades of purple. The squeaking of the hangars slows to a stop as Clint brings up Nick's need for a costume.

Nick shakes his head, "...Outfit's already been arranged."

A disappointed cluck comes from the shop owner's mouth as she goes back to sorting through dresses. "Of course the pretty one does." She laments slightly.

And it is at that moment a dress is held up. It looks like a saloon dancer's outfit. While it's longer in the back, the back of the fabric doesn't reach the floor. As for the front-

Well, while it covers what it needs to, there will likely be some looks.

Charlamaine gives a pleased look to the find, holding it against Clint for a moment to double check. "...Well Vinegar, you have your work cut out for you if you're guarding your honey from flies. Driving them away from both him AND you."

Before anything can be said, Charlamaine spins on her heels once again strutting. "And now... THE BOOTS!"

Nick blinks, looking over to Clint. "...I don't think she's going to call you anything else."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Well, it's better than jerk, hey," Clint replies to Nick as he checks the outfit. Dear gawd. It really looks like a French can-can dress, one that would have been seen in the saloons back then.

The archer positively fidgets as the dress is held against him. Just as if it was poisonous of something. But he can't complain, the thing has the merit of meeting each and every requirements set by the archer. Colour, length, no sleeves. Now the boots. Easy enough. Then put everything in a bag, pay and leave.

"I can take care of myself," Clint replies matter-of-factly, "And /honey/ can as well. It's for this gig at Lux, maybe you've heard of it?" Yes, small talk. Change topic. Imagine that you are in a nightmare, something. Anything.

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
"Oh vinegar, If either of you dress up you're going to have twice the problems that you're used to." Charlamaine responds with a tsk. "And based from your initial comments, you have a lot of learning to do on how to handle the attention."

Clack clack clack. The heels trumpet their approach to the shoe section.

"Although. I have heard of the Lux and the pending event. Had a few sales and rentals come from it. Perhaps, I'll swing by later for it. See my products in action."

She pauses, doing the equivalent of a bend and snap to retrieve a box below. "Size 13?" She asks.

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
"Black and 13, yup. I'll try them, and might buy them," Clint says, even if S.H.I.E.L.D. provides excellent and sturdy ones, it's nice to change once in a while.

That said, the archer takes the box and looks around for a place to sit to try them on. Amazingly enough, they fit very well and are even comfortable. Boots back on the box, box in hand, Clint stands, grinning, "I'll handle the attention just fine. Kind of used to it," indeed, but mostly feminine attention. How different can it be? And it's only for one evening, so the archer looks quite confident.

"Alright, hrm, yeah, let's put everything in a bag, rent for the outfit, and I'll buy the boots. Deal?"

Phantasm (Drago) has posed:
"Now slow your roll Vinegar." Charlamaine, "While I am VERY good at eyeing the men and figuring out the size, you still will want to try it on first. Plus we haven't even found your mask yet. And considering how self conscious you're being, you're going to need it."

Nick has the decency not to look directly at Clint as he listens to the admonishment.

"Honey, are you as skittish as your stallion here? Are you going to be having issues like this too?"

"...No." Nick replies. "I'm used to costume requirements."

Oddly enough. Nick does NOT correct Charlamaine regarding the horse statement. "And give Diablo a chance. I'm sure he'll get things figured out by the time the event starts."

"OOOOOH DIABLO... Perfect for the outfit style and a trip to the Lux. Although... Ooh I got it." She looks to Clint. "Your name will be Debby Diabla!"

Chuckling to herself she beckons Clint to follow. "As entertaining as it may be to have you try it on in the middle of the store, we DO have dressing rooms here."

Hawkeye (Barton) has posed:
Oh no, no, no and NO. He is NOT going to try this thing. But then Clint must admit defeat: it would be even worse then wearing the dress, if it didn't fit!

It is the whole exchange about Diablo and the nickname, but the archer's mood seems to mellow. She wants to see him, then she will.

"Very well," Clint sighs, "Get the mask while I put this thing on."

And that's how Hawkeye found out that it is not so easy to wear a dress. The zipper in the back was lucky to survive his attempts at zipping it. But he'd be damned if he asked anyone to help him. At least, the boots were kind of nice.

After a moment - probably longer than expected - Clint returns from the dressing room, stepping just outside of it for Charlamaine and Nick to make sure all fits where it should. Small mercies, there is no other customer in the store.

Charlamaine was right in assessing his size. The dress fit just well enough to provide for freedom of movement. And as if to prove it, Clint moves his arms around, bending them a few times - and showing Charlamaine that he got what it takes to defend himself. The front is long enough to not reveal too much, dropping to the knee. With imagination, the archer could convince himself that he's wearing a kilt. Way less disturbing to think about.

It seems that the effect is positive, by the look on the store owner's face. Yup, get an eyeful, dear.

The show doesn't last long as Clint soon returns to his city clothes, now more than ready to leave. Meanwhile, a full mask has been found in the large assortment held by the store.

Large bags in hand, beanie and sunglasses on, the archer departs the store with Nick.